Or I'm just super lazy and can't muster up the energy to talk about things in a semi-intelligent manner. Which ever option you like best. So what the hey! Let's talk about NYC bars again!
Nearly a year into living in NYC, and my list of frequented bars has increased! I would claim to be cultured, but let's be honest - I'm too broke for culture. As is, I've got me a huge list of dives I've been to and liked, and as such I feel the need to share them all with you. Note that my original aims of finding 'the' bar have faded into a desire to not spend all of my money for a particular pay period in one night. As such, this list is not only limited, but incredibly biased. But cheap! Which could be a deal breaker when chilling in one of the most expensive cities in the world. See? Look at me. Being useful. Maybe.
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Look! Stuff about bars!
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| Jimmy's Corner, West 44th at 7th Ave |
The Good: An older lady bartender who will kick people out who aren't buying drinks, doesn't take any sass, and knows how to make the drinks strong and awesome. (She'll also have your back when you're trying to get a seat if she likes you. Guess who she likes! This guy!) The owner, Jimmy, is also pretty awesome. He's a boxing fanatic, and in addition to the billions of boxing photos on the wall, there are a few of him and Ali. An awesome atmosphere in the absolute worst part of the city (yes, Times Square is lame. I'm sorry, but it's true), and a block and two avenues away from my office. Awesome? Why yes, yes it is.
The Bad: First and foremost, Jimmy's Corner really is a corner. There's room in the back for about 15 people, and another 10 or 15 could squeeze in at the bar, but that's it. You can line the hallway behind the bar if you want to drink and to wait for a seat, but on a Friday right after the work day? You'll be waiting for a while. (A Wednesday after a workday, however, is delightfully empty.) Otherwise, there are only three beers on tap (eh), they're slightly more expensive than the cheapest dives I've been to (an extra dollar for atmosphere won't kill me), and it's constantly filled with Midtown suits (AHHHHHHHHHHH!). Granted, only the cool Midtown suits who know about Jimmy's, but still. I fear that once they realize that their ties costs more than my entire wardrobe I'll be tossed out. And no one likes drinking when they're that anxious!
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| Cherry Tavern, 6th Street at Ave A |
The Good: I'VE GOTTEN FREE DRINKS HERE FOUR TIMES. IT IS THEREFORE THE BEST BAR EVER, AND NOTHING YOU SAY ABOUT IT WILL CHANGE MY MIND. My coworkers and I stumbled upon Cherry Tavern by accident one night. I looked at it, winced, and started walking away. Happily, my colleague ignored me, went inside, and life has been beautiful ever since. Cheap enough not to have a happy hour (which is damn impressive in Alphabet City), this bar is awesome simply for their prices. They also have a drink called the Che Iced Tea - mint tea and bourbon, and god damn if it doesn't hit the spot after a miserable work day. (It has become my comfort booze. Yes. Such a thing exists.) I know two of the bartenders who work there and they both recognize me, so they make my drinks super strong, which is always nice. The tunes aren't bad depending on who is picking them, and at it's best, Cherry Tavern is delightful, with an eclectic, medium-sized crowd and close to a bunch of brilliant food and other boozey options. Brilliance!
The Bad: This is a dive. Look at it. (And it looks trashier now than this photo. Apparently there was a fire, so they re-did the outside or something?) Not a secretly classy place, not a kinda-dive, not an almost dive. Divey like whoa. The bathroom has, at times, almost failed my one divey cut-off point - do I feel gross using it? Again, not quite, but almost... The crowd is also up and down. One night, I arrived with a friend and we were the only people there. Then we went late on a Friday night and it was packed with hipsters and military men. There's really no predicting it. (Ditto on one crappy bartender - the other two are brilliant, but this other guy... *shudder*) The other bad point is that there are no draft beers. None. And Guinness in a can. WHHHHYYY? But at these prices (AND THEN FREE DRINKS ON TOP OF THAT!) I can cope.
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| Key Bar, 13th Street at Ave A |
The Good: Happy. Hour. So. Good. Two for one drinks until midnight on weekdays. Which is especially impressive because of the drinks they have. Excellent Belgium beer. Pretty awesome martinis. Interesting additional cocktails. Fun shots! And, most importantly, during the two weeks of your birthday, you and everyone with you gets a free shot in honor of the anniversary of your birth! (There were four of us in the office with birthdays in the first two weeks of January. We got druuuuunk.)
The Bad: God, it's an odd bar. Not at all divey, but there's a framed picture of a pig snout on the wall, and a bunch of red lighting, and it makes me feel... German (or Belgium?). Which is cool and all, but not what I usually go for in my bar hopping experience, you know? Plus, once the happy hour ends you're kind of screwed because the drinks are not cheap. And when it gets crowded? RUN AWAY. It becomes a pseudo-club. Which is just icky.
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| The Duck, 2nd Ave and 112th Street |
The Good: On one Thursday night in East Harlem, friends and I had a dire need to become horrifically intoxicated. In the face of this need, the locals nodded knowingly at each other and took us on a journey several avenues away. We eventually arrived at The Duck, where we found out that it was the fabled 'ladies nights'. We got in. The (already drunk) Eastern European bartender summoned my female friend and I forward. She made three shots. One for each of us, one for her. We got another one with her later in the night. Drinks were cheap. Certainly cheap enough with the extra intoxication.
The Bad: If Cherry Tavern is a dive bar, The Duck is sort of the Pit of Hell. For instance, the juke box kept shorting out for no particular reason as the night kept going, all the tables are broken, and so far in my experience there haven't been more than eight people in there at any time. There were three old men hitting on the bartender last time I went. (The bathroom did pass the test though, so that's nice.) There are next to no redeeming features about it. And for that reason, I love it much more than I should. I feel like the bad is sort of this bar's selling point, you know? Totally ridiculous in every possible way, and therefore most certainly worth my time.
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| Metropolitan, Lorimer Street and Metropolitan Ave |
The Good: A queer bar in Brooklyn with a freaking amazing ladies' night on Wednesdays? Yes please! I've only been to a handful of gay bars in general, and only two in New York (Eastern Bloc was the other one. I entered, walked as far into the establishment as I could, saw a man in a speedo dancing on a pole, and turned around and left), and Metro is pretty awesome. They have a huge back yard with lots of room to lounge about and a large interior space with a live DJ and dancing if you so choose. (Unsurprisingly, I don't.) Add the half off all drinks for women and a generally awesome vibe along with great company, and I had a brilliant time. I went to provide a friend with moral support and get me some cheap booze, met up with a group of her work peeps and some mutual buddies, and it was a wildly successful trip. I will definitely be back.
The Bad: I only had one drink (work the next day and all, week of death, etc.) and it was a PBR (broke), so I can't speak to their mixed drinks. Good selection, though. Also, by virtue of being in Brooklyn and there being no good way to get from there to Queens, it took me about two hours to get home. Which is just dumb (unless its for Sunny's). Also (and I know this is stupid, so judge away), I wouldn't feel comfortable going without my queer friends with me. Yes, idiotic, but I don't want to be re-appropriating anything or whatnot. (Logic. I haz.)
Thus endith the list for now. (I figure five at a time is smart, yes?) Still to come, The Dark Room (cheapest whiskey ginger I've ever had in NYC), The Lakeside Lounge (I definitely set off their emergency exit alarm one time...), The International (so cool), The Coal Yard (with the strongest whiskey ginger I've ever had), and some bar that doesn't start with "the".
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